I felt my blood racebecause I knew that I was wearing only threethings: my sun dress, strapless bra and panties. Thensomeone reminded me that I could remove jewelry andshoes. Everyone watched as off came one of my sandals,and suddenly in my tummy that feeling that I just mightbe on the slippery slope of having to do something veryembarrassing rose up again.With the loss of my other sandal minutes later, myfeeling of dread returned again. Though it was fun to seethe others losing and being forced to accept the penalty,how could I do it if I got that far? I was alwaysone who played by the rules and when I lost, I feltobligated to pay whatever debts I owed. But in thiscase, the penalty could mean doing something I hadnever done before that normally terrified me: beingnaked in front of other people. God ‘ there was such anelement of danger and just the thought made me shiver.It was getting to be midnight but no one left. Both youand I were pretty blitzed but still. That sortof self-hate is a terrible thing. I was so extremely ambitious thathaving that ambition thwarted basically drove me mad. In othersambition can be a good thing but it was clearly dangerous anddestructive in me, so it had to go too. I needed to reconnect with myfemininity, to rediscover the joy of being a woman." And are you?" I'm beginning to, yes, though I think I may have overdone the physicalvanity in the new me. I seem to be checking my hair and make-up everyfive minutes." Oh," said Janice, looking embarrassed, "I do that every five minutes,too."We all laughed at this, and it felt good."The thought of overwriting a body's original personality andcompletely erasing it gives me the creeps," said Uhura."And if it was done against someone's will I'd agree," I said, "that'stotally monstrous and why the device was rightly outlawed in the firstplace. But this was my choice and the new me was my creation. JaniceLester just became a modified version of Janice Lester. I was.
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